Aho Me Moha Vitatim
BhajanKrishna Dvaipayana Vyasa
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(1) (pińgalovāca) aho me moha-vitatiḿ paśyatāvijitātmanaḥ yā kāntād asataḥ kāmaḿ kāmaye yena bāliśā (2) santaḿ samīpe ramaṇaḿ rati-pradaḿ vitta-pradaḿ nityam imaḿ vihāya akāma-daḿ duḥkha-bhayādhi-śoka- moha-pradaḿ tuccham ahaḿ bhaje 'jñā (3) aho mayātmā paritāpito vṛthā sāńketya-vṛttyāti-vigarhya-vārtayā straiṇān narād yārtha-tṛṣo 'nuśocyāt krītena vittaḿ ratim ātmanecchatī (4) yad asthibhir nirmita-vaḿśa-vaḿsya- sthūṇaḿ tvacā roma-nakhaiḥ pinaddham kṣaran-nava-dvāram agāram etad viṇ-mūtra-pūrṇaḿ mad upaiti kānyā (5) videhānāḿ pure hy asminn aham ekaiva mūḍha-dhīḥ yānyam icchanty asaty asmād ātma-dāt kāmam acyutāt (6) suhṛt preṣṭhatamo nātha ātmā cāyaḿ śarīriṇām taḿ vikrīyātmanaivāhaḿ rame 'nena yathā ramā (7) kiyat priyaḿ te vyabhajan kāmā ye kāma-dā narāḥ ādy-antavanto bhāryāyā devā vā kāla-vidrutāḥ (8) nūnaḿ me bhagavān prīto viṣṇuḥ kenāpi karmaṇā nirvedo 'yaḿ durāśāyā yan me jātaḥ sukhāvahaḥ (9) maivaḿ syur manda-bhāgyāyāḥ kleśā nirveda-hetavaḥ yenānubandhaḿ nirhṛtya puruṣaḥ śamam ṛcchati (10) tenopakṛtam ādāya śirasā grāmya-sańgatāḥ tyaktvā durāśāḥ śaraṇaḿ vrajāmi tam adhīśvaram (11) santuṣṭā śraddadhaty etad yathā-lābhena jīvatī viharāmy amunaivāham ātmanā ramaṇena vai
(1) The prostitute Pingala said, "Just see how greatly illusioned I am! Because I cannot control my mind, just like a fool I desire lusty pleasure from an insignificant man. [30] (2) I am such a fool that I have given up the service of that person who, being eternally situated with my heart, is actually most dear to me. That most dear one is the Lord of the Universe, who is that bestower of real love and happiness and the source of all prosperity. Although He is in my own heart, I have completely neglected Him. Instead I have ignorantly served insignificant men who can never satisfy my real desires and who have simply brought me unhappiness, fear, anxiety, lamentation, and illusion. [31] (3) Oh, how I have uselessly tortured my own soul! I have sold my body to lusty, greedy men who are themselves objects of pity. Thus practicing the most abominable profession of a prostitute, I hoped to get money and sex pleasure. [32] (4) This material body is like a house in which I, the soul, am living. The bones forming my spine, ribs, arms and legs are like the beams, crossbeams and pillars of the house, and the whole structure, which is full of stool and urine, is covered by skin, hair and nails. The nine doors leading into this body are constantly excreting foul substances. Besides me, what woman could be so foolish as to devote herself to this material body, thinking that she might find pleasure and love in this contraption? [33] (5) Certainly in this city of Videha I alone am completely foolish. I neglected the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who awards us everything, even our original spiritual form, and instead I desired to enjoy sense gratification with many men. [34] (6) The Supreme Personality of Godhead is absolutely the dearest one for all living beings because He is everyone's well-wisher and Lord. He is the Supreme Soul situated in everyone's heart. Therefore I will now pay the price of complete surrender, and thus purchasing the Lord I will enjoy with Him just like Laksmidevi. [35] (7) Men provide sense gratification for women, but all these men, and even the demigods in heaven, have a beginning and an end. They are all temporary creations who will be dragged away by time. Therefore how much actual pleasure or happiness could any of them ever give to their wives? [36] (8) Although I most stubbornly hoped to enjoy the world, somehow or other detachment has arisen in my heart and it is making me very happy. Therefore, the Supreme Lord, Vishnu, must be pleased with me. Without knowing it, I must have performed some activity satisfying to Him. [37] (9) A person who has developed detachment can give up the bondage of material society, friendship, and love, and a person who undergoes great suffering gradually becomes, out of hopelessness, detached and indifferent to the material world. Thus, due to my great suffering, such detachment awoke in my heart. Therefore, I am in fact fortunate and have received the mercy of the Lord. He must somehow or other be pleased with me. [38] (10) With devotion I accept the great benefit that the Lord has bestowed upon me. Having given up my sinful desires for ordinary sense gratification, I now take shelter of Him, the Supreme Lord. [39] (11) I am now completely satisfied and I have full faith in the Lord's mercy. Therefore I will maintain myself with whatever comes of its own accord. I shall enjoy life with only the Lord, He who is the real source of love and happiness." [40]