Aparadha Phale Mama
BhajanBhaktivinoda Thakura
Siksastaka — Eight Instructions
Lyrics
(1) aparādha-phale mama, citta bhelo vajra-sama, tuwā nāme nā labhe vikār hatāś hoiye, hari, tava nām ucca kori’, boro duḥkhe ḍāki bār bār (2) dīna doyāmoy karunā-nidān bhāva-bindhu dei rākhoha parān (3) kabe tuwā nāma-uccaraṇe mor nayane jharabo dara dara lor (4) gad-gada-swara kanṭhe upajabo mukhe bola ādha ādha bāhirābo (5) pulake bharabo śarīra hāmāra sweda-kampa-stambha habe bāra bāra (6) vivarna-śarīre hārāobuń jñāna nāma-samāśraye dharobuń parān (7) milabo hāmāra kiye aiche din ro-owe bhaktivinoda mati hīn
Translation
(1) O Lord Hari, as a result of my offenses incurred in previous lifetimes, my heart has become hard as a thunderbolt, and feels no change upon chanting Your holy name. Now in utter hopelessness, O Lord Hari, I loudly sing Your name, and in great distress I call out to You again and again. (2) O Lord who is compassionate towards the fallen souls! O origin of all mercy! Please give to me a drop of divine ecstasy and thereby save my life! (3) When will an incessant stream of tears flow dripping and dripping from my eyes at the articulation of Your holy name? (4) When will a faltering voice choked with emotion arise in my throat, and when will words garbled due to ecstasy come from my mouth? (5) When will my body be filled with ecstatic rapture, and when will there be perspiration, trembling, and a stunned sensation again and again? (6) When, out of divine ecstasy, will all consciousness be lost in my pale and discolored body? And when will I hold onto my very life under the shelter of Your holy name? (7) This weeping Bhaktivinoda, who is devoid of all good intelligence, sobs, "O Lord, how will such a day ever be mine?"
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