Sadhu Sanga Na Hoilo Hay
BhajanBhaktivinoda Thakura
Anutapa laksana upalabdhi — Repentance
Lyrics
(1) sadhu-sanga na hoilo hay! gelo dina akarana, kori'artha uparjana, paramartha rohilo kothay? (2) suvarna koriya tyaga, tuccha lostre anuraga. durbhagar ei to' laksana krsnetar sanga kori', sadhu-jane prihari', mada-garve katanu jibana (3) bhakti-mudra-darasane, hasya koritam mane, batulata boliya tahay je sabhyata sresta gani', harainu cintamani, sese taha rohilo kothay? (4) jnaner garima bale, bhakti-rupa susambale, upeksinu svartha pasariya dusta jadasrita jnana, ebe ho'lo antardhana, karma-bhoge amake rakhiya (5) ebe jadi sadhu-jane, krpa kori' e durjane, dena bhakti-samudrer bindhu ta' hoile anayase, mukta ho'ye bhava-pase, par hoi e samsar sindhu
Translation
(1) Alas! Now I realize that all of my days had passed uselessly, for I never had the great fortune of associating with the devotees of the Lord. Therefore instead of hearing from them about the process of attaining the topmost goal of human life, I have wasted my time simply working hard to earn money. (2) This is such an unfortunate calamity, for I now consider that I have rejected pure gold simply to become attached and devoted to a small clod of dirt. In other words, I have abandoned the bright-faced golden devotees of the Lord to associate with filthy dirty persons who are averse to Krishna. Thus in their company I have passed my entire life dazed in madly intoxicated vanity. (3) Whenever I saw someone decorated with the signs of a Vaisnava like tilaka, neck beads and sikha, etc., I would laugh at them within my mind, considering them to be completely insane. Regarding this attitude of mine to be the most highly cultured behavior, I have thereby robbed myself of the transcendental association of those touch stone-like devotees. So now in the end I am wondering . . . where has all this nonsense led me to? (4) On the strength of my material education, I became puffed up and completely overlooked the most auspicious form of spiritual life, which is available only by devotional service. Thus I have completely steered clear of the ultimate goal of life. But now in my old age, all of this polluted material knowledge I worked so hard for is dwindling, for my memory is gradually fading away. Just see how I am captured and tormented in enjoying the fruits of my previous material activities! (5) Now I have just one last hope. If only the devotees would be merciful to this sinful rogue by sprinkling me with one drop from the bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu, the nectarine ocean of pure devotion, then I will be satisfied. By the sweet influence of that single drop, I will instantly and effortlessly become liberated from the strong grip of this material world, and thus I will finally be able to cross over the ocean of nescience.
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